If you’re single and looking for a mate, listen up. Two researchers at Northwestern University conducted a study of speed daters, and found that people who selected a large number of candidates for follow-up meetings were less likely to be picked themselves. People who chose only a few contenders were more successful in getting attention and responses. It turns out that singles who show interest in every partner they encounter may come off not as eager and open but as just plain desperate.
The research found that unlike platonic relationships where people who like everyone often get the feeling reciprocated, it’s very different in a romantic context. Notwithstanding the charming male and female casanovas we all know, they say they have hard statistical evidence the more people you find attractive, the fewer will be drawn to you.
The researchers warn against interpreting this data as an invitation to sit home or play hard to get: Their recommendation: You should be easy for one person to get and hard for everyone else.